Happy Valentine’s Day. In my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, I try to explain the fact that you’ve got to be a little crazy to fall in love, because if you’re not a little crazy in love you’re not really in love. It’s complicated. Especially for guys. The only way a guy can find out if a woman is feeling romantic is by puckering up and trying for a kiss. Sometimes that works, and sometimes she just turns her head, and rolls her eyes out loud, which leaves you kind of licking her ear. But Louie Louie Generation lads and ladies have been around long enough to know that love is like a bathing suit. It all depends what you put into it. So you’ve got to go all in.
Louie Louie Generation folks who love Valentine’s Day are sometimes called hopeless romantics. And I’ve thought about that a lot. It seems to me that there is no such thing as a hopeless romantic. Because the only way you can be a romantic is if you are full of hope. There’s nothing that’s absolutely certain about hope. There’s no hope if it’s a sure thing. The only way you can have hope is to have the guts to take a chance…to risk failure. Hope is the opposite of a done deal. Having hope means I may get my heart torn out by loving my Lady Wonder Wench, but she’s worth the risk.I don’t think you can make anybody love you. So you can’t really make love. It happens if you’re lucky…and you have the guts to take the risk…and you take the time for slow, all night kisses, and you have a shoulder that’s ready for some of her tears…and you hold her hand…through everything…no matter how tough it is…you never let go of her hand. Never.
It’s Friday, so it’s time for the most popular feature of today’s podcast, Dick’s Details…a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s messing with your life out the other ear, and you can pop a chocolate covered cherry. 12% of Americans actually believe that Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife. That goes a long way toward explaining the recent election results. If the answer is, “A fang in your arm” what is the question? The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that the #1 cause of depression in married people is being married, and the #1 cause of depression in single people is not being married. Can you imagine how confusing it must be for God listening to our prayers? Each year, 30,000 Americans are injured by exercise equipment. I think most of the injuries are probably caused by not using that exercise equipment. And if the answer is “A fang in your arm” the question is “what do you find if you shave the striped fur off a tiger.” A fang in your arm. The answer in the book is you find striped skin…but I like my answer better. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
Valentine’s Day. It’s about love, but it’s also about no love. (www.dicksummer.com/podcast ) A buddy of mine recently told me his wife left him…after 20 years. Here’s part of his e-mail: “We’ve talked about how infidelity would forever change our relationship, and probably end it. But I swear if she came to me tonight and told me the truth, and said she’d rather be with me than with him, I’d suspend that stupid statement…I love her more than I love my beliefs about the perfect relationship. I want a life with her more than I want revenge for something that was probably, at least in part, my own fault.” My buddy is a good guy. And I think I hear at least a little hope in that heartbroken note. And that’s good. I think love is pretty simple. You’re either in it or you’re not. But loving…what you do with that love…that can get pretty complicated. There’s all kinds of loving.
Once upon a long time ago, the Louie Louie Lad and I and a good friend known as the Cookie Monster would walk from our apartment in a Chicago three-flat and wend our way to a restaurant called WAGS for dinner. I don’t know if WAGS still exists, but the Cookie Monster does and Chicago does – and the great memories of those walks still fill my mind when I close my eyes and watch Dick and Kevin walking side by side and arguing over what to do on the Lad’s radio show. Kevin, whom I called the Cookie Monster for obvious reasons (how that boy loves Orios), was the Lad’s producer, and both of them had decided ideas about what would work on the radio. Actually, they were both right and both wrong, but no one could tell them that. So I watched the ideas being tossed around like cookie crumbs and enjoyed the reasonable food at WAGS and then the stroll back to the Polish part of Chicago, where the Lads went off to Skokie and I would listen to the radio to hear which of them had won.
There will never be another Cookie Monster, and I don’t know about WAGS. But Chicago and Kevin are as solid a part of my memories as the flat land and Temple Farms (where I rode my horse Red) and the people who called the Lad and talked about their part of the country. I learned very quickly that Illinois consists of two places: Chicago and Downstate. But it also consists of people who love where they are and don’t mind sharing that love with you if you are willing to see and enjoy. I don’t believe I actually miss Chicago – or the wind and snow – but I do miss the kindness and the laughter and the friends . . .
Photo of Chicago courtesy of Proud Podcast Person Bill K.
Valentine’s Day is about love…or no love. Or maybe kind of strange love if you believe the picture down below. It’s full of laughs, tears, hopes, and fears. It’s real. It’s not about looking at life through rose-colored glasses. In my case it’s about a guy who’s happily looking at his life through bifocals that still get steamed up and sometimes a little teared up, because the calendar says I’m watching the Summer sunshine of our lives turn to Autumn gold…my Lady Wonder Wench and me.
As I mentioned in today’s podcast, I guess I go a little excessive on Valentine’s Day. And at the other extreme are a couple of guys I know who just ignore Valentine’s Day. I guess they’ve just grown up too much to enjoy themselves anymore. And of course, there are quite a few folks who are taking another heavy hit to the heart this Valentine’s Day. And unfortunately, it’s true that sometimes…the hottest loves end in the coldest words. That’s tough. I’ve been lucky. The last time that happened to me was with a blonde. Blue eyes. We were in Kindergarten. Her name was Joanie. And she didn’t even open my Valentine’s Day card. Kind of made me feel like just another sock in the laundromat of life. That was a long time ago, and I’ve pretty much gotten over it. Mostly. Pretty much.
Today’s podcast explains why Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday. Valentine’s Day is a great excuse for some extra hugging, and kissing, and general fooling around. I have heard that some people get so carried away they even hug the nearest tree. Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie-Louie Generation puts that into perspective. He always says, “It’s ok to hug a tree. As long as that’s as far as it goes. You may have to back off a bit if your girlfriend finds bark stains on your collar.”
Today’s podcast is about Valentine’s day. I like it. You get to tell somebody, “I love you,” or at least, “I like you.” It means baseball’s Spring Training is about to start. And it’s a day when the thought really is more important than the gift. In fact, I have found that if you can get the right kind of thought going, Louie-Louie Generation ladies like my Lady Wonder Wench generally really get into a very…warm…spirit of…giving…so to speak. And if you are a Louie-Louie Lad like I am you will certainly put to good use the power of warm words…aural sex…and of course you will follow Big Louie’s advice having to do with any of your remaining moving parts. If you’ve got em…move em.
As Big Louie always says in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, “Do not forget Valentine’s Day. Even if she says you don’t’ have to get her anything, you have to get her something, and if you don’t somebody else will.” If nothing else, give her this (free) download of one of the stories in my Night Connections spoken word CD. It’s called “The Perfect Stranger.” https://www.yousendit.com/download/ZWJYQ1ZuQVNmVFlLSk1UQw