Part of the value of issuing “Huhs?” in my podcasts, here in this “Been There Done That” part of my life is that I know I don’t have to be able to explain everything. For example, why do cereal and pancakes taste better at night? And why do bananas taste best sliced…and a really strange thing…cookie dough tastes better than the cookies. And how come soda from a can tastes better than soda from a plastic bottle…but soda from a glass bottle tastes best of all. I don’t need to be able to explain why chopped lettuce tastes better than lettuce leaves, and grated cheese is much tastier than sliced cheese. And I no longer worry about trying to explain why baby carrots taste better than full sized ones. And left over pizza is much pizzier than the pie right out of the oven. And fascinatingly, slicing a sandwich diagonally doubles the flavor. I live in the Been There Done That part of my life, so I don’t have to explain these things. I just know they’re true.
I have just read a book written by a very well known smart guy doctor. It gets a three breath Huh? It’s in toaday’s podcast. The essential premise of the book is that we are all just walking, talking, sacks of chemicals and electrical connections. Sorry doctor. That gets a great big three breath HUH. I have held a newborn baby in my arms, and I have watched my beautiful , sexy Lady Wonder Wench walk up a flight of stairs in tight jeans, and I have heard John Lennon sing Imagine there’s no heaven. And along with a half million other New Yorkers, on a late Summer night in Central Park what seems like a lifetime ago, I have heard the New York Philharmonic doing Beethoven’s Fifth. And Sinatra singing Nelson Riddle’s arrangement of I’ve Got You Under My Skin. Just a sack of chemicals and sparks? Huh! I don’t think so.
My Lady Wonder Wench is…beautiful. But she never knew it. She used to hide behind her glasses. There’s a story about that in today’s podcast. She never knew how beautiful she was…is…always will be to me.There’s a sign at the airport that nailed it for guys. “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” Most of the guys at the airport are pretty much like me. Toy boys. I’ve been thinking about how different women are. I wonder if a similar statement for women might be…”Please don’t hide behind your glasses. Some boy playing with his toys really needs to find you.”
It’s T.G.I.F. which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s threatening to take your toys away from you out the other ear, and you can get back to flying your Frisbee. In Texas, it is illegal to carry a sword or a knife into the State Legislature. A fully loaded AK-47 however is perfectly ok. If the answer is “There’s an argument going on at every table.” What’s the question? 53% of American women won’t leave the house without their make up on. And any divorce lawyer will tell you that a pretty good percentage of American men should check to see if they are leaving those women’s houses with their make up on. In Toronto, pedestrians on the sidewalk are supposed to give a hand signal before turning. In Brooklyn, everybody’s always giving each other hand signals. If the answer is “There’s an argument going on at every table” the question is “How do you know you’re in a family restaurant? Fun for the whole family. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or the spoken word cds at dick summer dot com, or my book staying Happy Healthy And Hot…available at Amazon dot com, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’ll be doing me a favor. thanks
When Wonder Wench came home the other night, she said…”leave me alone.” I think she was giving me some kind of hint. I am not good at hints. No guys are good at hints…even grown up, sophisticated, Louie-Louie Generation guys. As I said in today’s podcast, you live and learn. I have become better than some guys at taking hints. I realize, for example, that the words “leave me alone” mean it is probably not the time to suggest that my Lady Wonder Wench try on the little stringy black see-through thing I just bought her from the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I did that once, and the conversation turned quite quickly to the possibility of a do-it-yourself removal of organs to which I have become quite accustomed. By the way, have you ever noticed that none of the girls in the Victoria’s Secret catalogue seem to be saying “leave me alone”? But I’ll bet that one of Victoria’s best kept secrets is that they all have done so…probably on more than one occasion. I like to think that one of the guys to whom she said it was George Clooney. Probably not.
Some of the guys who listen to my podcasts or read the blogs call me “Toy Boy” and they send me Emails about their toys. Proud PodCast Participant “R.J.S.” said, “I had a push pedal toy airplane. All the other kids had push pedal cars, but I had a push pedal airplane with wings and a propeller that went around when I peddled.” Good for you “R.J.S.”. Interestingly, I had one of those too. “Harry The Hat” said, “I just got a box of flat top golf tees. They’re for friends who are always mooching tees from you. The tops are flat and angled so you can’t tee up the ball.” Harry, that’s pretty good, but Toy Boy would like to suggest that you have some fake golf balls made of compressed talc to lend to the other guys. When they hit it, it would explode. That would be the perfect Toy Boy Touch.
I’ve had such a lucky…full of toys life. Most of my working life was spent playing at a radio station. In those days a radio station was one big toy with a microphone attached, and you had a bunch of friends around you cracking jokes and listening to music. I get to do the same thing now on my podcasts, playing with my microphone and talking about toys. And talk about toys, I’ve had my little four seat airplane at the airport for more than 20 years. And hey, I get to run my snow blower all over the neighborhood every winter …vroom, vroom.
The sign on the wall at the airport today nailed the explanation for why we boys need to have toys. It’s in today’s podcast. The sign says, “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” That’s why God made the word Toy rhyme with the word Boy. Boys need toys. I keep telling you that. I suppose that’s why an Email one guy sent to me called me the, “Toy Boy.” And I kind of like that name. Here’s what made me want to tell you about this. My Lady Wonder Wench and I were enjoying a charity pancake breakfast at the airport today, and one of the guys had nailed the sign up on the wall of his hanger. It said, “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” I don’t know who originally said that, but wow it’s just like Big Louie’s most important rule. Big Louie is the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation, and in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, he always says, “If you have any moving parts left, for cryin’ out loud, MOVE ‘EM.