I’ve told you that when my Lady Wonder Wench shows up wearing just her two piece…which means her bedroom slippers…my ears and my eyebrows start to wiggle. It’s embarrassing. I don’t do it on purpose. Who’s wiggling my eyebrows and my ears? It’s like sometimes my train of thought leaves the station without me. I’ve been trying to figure this stuff out in the current podcast.
Lots of things happen automatically to me. And I think to you too. You usually don’t decide to take a breath, and you don’t think left, right, left, right when you’re walking. And who’s doing stuff in your head while you’re talking. Most of the time you don’t think about exactly what the next word is going to be. Unless you’re trying to explain why your hand has gotten caught in some cookie jar, or on some lady’s leg where it didn’t belong.There’s an idea kicking around between your ears, but the exact words you use are automatic. Who’s doing that if you’re not? I think it’s your Who, That’s Who.
Who’s Who? is the title of this week’s podcast. It’s trying to figure out who’s really running you/me. Who really picks out your girlfriend/which hand to use holding your sandwich/what word you’re going to say next/which foot goes first. In my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, Big Louie says you may not really be responsible for where you put your hands sometimes. I’ve been trying to convince my Lady Wonder Wench of that for years.
Sometimes my train of thought leaves the station without me. Who’s doing my thinking when that happens? Does that happen to you too? Sometimes life gets to be kind of a bucket of HUH? That’s’ what this week’s podcast is all about.
I’ve told you that when my Lady Wonder Wench shows up wearing just her two piece (which means her slippers) my ears and my eyebrows start to wiggle. It’s embarrassing. I don’t do it on purpose. Who’s wiggling my eyebrows and my ears? That’s what this week’s podcast is all about. Maybe you have some answers.
Doing childish and immature things can be very good for you. If you go to www.dicksummer.com/podcast you’ll see what I mean
I was happily chomping away on my ham and Swiss on whole wheat with a slice of raw onion and mayo, when all of a sudden, I realized I had the sandwich in my left hand. I am a very right handed guy As I told you in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. I have often been glad that I am a very right handed guy. I started courting my Lady Wonder Wench in the days and nights of mini-skirts. Sometimes when I was driving, and she was in the seat next to me her left leg sometimes rewarded my right hand very nicely. So nicely that once I almost went off the road. It wasn’t my fault. Wiping the “wow was that ever nice remembering that” smile off my face, I started thinking why is a right handed guy eating a sandwich with his left hand? When I eat from a plate, I always use my fork with my right hand. I can’t use a fork with my left hand. I’ve tried. So how come my sandwich always lands up in my left hand? And why did that happen automatically. Who made that decision? Lots of things happen automatically to me. And I think to you too. You usually don’t decide to take a breath, and you don’t think left, right, left, right when you’re walking. And who’s doing stuff in your head while you’re talking. Most of the time you don’t think about exactly what the next word is going to be. Unless you’re trying to explain why your hand has gotten caught in some cookie jar, or on some lady’s leg where it didn’t belong. There’s an idea kicking around between your ears, but the exact words you use are automatic. Who’s doing that if you’re not? I think it’s your Who, that’s who.
I’ve told you that when my Lady Wonder Wench shows up wearing just her two piece…which means her bedroom slippers…my ears and my eyebrows start to wiggle. It’s embarrassing. I don’t do it on purpose. Who’s wiggling my eyebrows and my ears? It’s like sometimes my train of thought leaves the station without me. And how come when something very emotional happens, the thought of it goes right for your throat. Who does that to you? Not you. It’s your who. The result can be kind of embarrassing, especially for a guy. Who’s running all this stuff in your life. Is there some guy sitting in the back of your head who’s in charge of steering your steps, and picking out your words? Who puts my sandwich in my left hand and my fork in my right hand? And there have been other beautiful women in my life, how come this Who guy living between my ears, who is supposed to pull the strings that keeps my life going in some kind of reasonable direction kind of drops the strings, and runs up front to my eyes for a better look, leaving my ears and my eyebrows twitching when my Lady Wonder Wench shows up wearing just her two piece.
Dick’s Details…a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s messing with your head out the other ear, and you can just relax and go on automatic for a while.
A group of frogs is called an army. A group of army officers is called a mess. Which may be appropriate considering what some army officers have made of certain battle situations. If the answer is “Damn” what is the question? I’ll tell you in a minute. Sponges form an amazing 99% of all marine species. Can you imagine how deep the oceans would be if there were no sponges. Hawaii has three interstate highways. Huh ? 40% of Americans have never gone to a dentist. That’s why we have a thing called a tooth brush. If more of us went to the dentist, we’d have a teeth brush. Statisticians tell us that most family disagreements happen in the kitchen. That’s must be where we get the term food fights. And speaking of food, if a cow eats onions, her milk will taste like onions. I wonder what her milk would taste like if she ate some chocolate. Oh yes, if the answer is “Damn” the question is “What does a fish say when he swims into a concrete wall.” Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
Hey, I could use some help here. If you like this podcast, please forward it to a couple of friends, and ask them if they like it to forward it so a couple of their friends. That’ll help grow our little huddle. If you’re new to this podcast, when I was on the radio I used to call my listeners my huddle. Speaking of huddles, I was watching some football recently, and the size of the guys got my attention. How come NFL players come in three sizes: Extra large, Jumbo, and Oh my God it’s coming toward us. Some of those guys could have their own zip code. They must wake up in sections. If one of them goes to the zoo, I’ll bet elephants start throwing him peanuts. One of the line backers on the Patriots is so big, his shadow must weigh 50 pounds. I’ll bet if he goes into a restaurant, they don’t give him a menu, they give him an estimate.
But my train of thought has left the station without me again. So who is this Who guy who’s making me do things behind my own back? There really is a psychological syndrome called the “Alien Hand Syndrome.” Believe it or not, it causes a hand to do things without the person being aware of what’s happening, or having control over what the hand is doing. When I was a hypnotherapist I used to use a technique for pain control called “Glove Anesthesia.” It helps you get rid of pain in your hand and arm. I think it works on basically the same principle. Here’s how it works…try it, I think you’ll find it interesting.
Sit down with your arms at your sides. Now concentrate on your left hand, and put it on your left leg slowly. Concentrate on how it felt to put your left hand on your left leg. Now imagine you’re doing the same thing with your right hand. Don’t really move it…just imagine you’re slowly putting your right hand on your right leg. Concentrate hard on how that right hand would feel if you put it on your right leg. Now…how does your physical right hand really feel ? Most people lose the feeling in that right hand when they do that. I think it’s because you confuse that Who guy…that guy pulling your strings that run your life behind your own back.
When I first met my Lady Wonder Wench, my Who guy went nuts. That’s why I say whatever my right hand might or might not have been doing in that car all those years ago wasn’t my fault. Seriously. My Who guy somehow understood that she belonged with me. I was fascinated by who she really is. I wrote a story about it…all those years ago.
One of the sexiest things you can do with your clothes on is just looking into somebody’s eyes for two minutes. It really lights up your limbics…that’s the part of your brain that goes “Whoopee this is so much fun, I don’t care how much trouble I’ll get into for doing it.” I think when you look into somebody’s eyes for a full two minutes, you get to actually see that person, naked and un-protected. You even get the feeling of that person’s Who. As in who makes me take a breath, or take a step, or lets my hand slip over to a lady’s leg, or fall in love.
“Who Are You” is a story from my spoken word CD called lovin touch. If you like it you can just keep this podcast, or if you want a fresh copy just go back to email@example.com and check out the lovin touch icon on the home page.
Funny what a shock it was to me when I realized I always eat a sandwich with my left hand. And by the way, the first person to put something delicious between a couple of slices of bread wasn’t the Earl of Sandwich as most of the books say. It was the Duke of Shrewsbury. So next time you want to chomp happily on some ham and Swiss with a slice of raw onion on whole wheat
with mayo, set your own Who loose, and let him order a ham and Swiss Shrewsbury. That may be a childish and immature thing to do, but it’s not really your fault. Your Who did that to you. Doing childish and immature things sometimes can be good for you. If somebody has a problem when you turn your Who loose, it’s their problem not yours. Please remember what Big Louie says in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. He says “Act like you own yourself. Whoever you are.”
Retire. Me? I don’t have time. Yet. This is from the current podcast: I saw a cartoon once a long time ago, and I never forgot it. An obviously retiring executive was on his way out the door, and he stopped and said to his secretary, “Miss Jones, before I go, please get me the file marked hopes, plans and dreams.” Dreams make the difference between living and existing. There’s a story about that in the current podcast. It’s about a day a long time ago when my Lady and I had just enough money to take a ride on the subway. So we did. We went to Central Park on that lovely Saturday Spring morning. The sun was warm, the air was fresh and clean, and dandelions were just poking up through the new green grass after a long winter. I picked one and gave it to her. She smiled at me, and put it in her hair. When we got home, she put it in the jelly glass on her dresser. She was and is, my first real girlfriend. The first female person who recognized and respected my dreams…and she gave me everything she had to be part of them.
In mybook, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, Big Louie says: “Retirement sneaks up on you like a windshield sneaks up on a bug in the summertime.” www.dicksummer.com/podcast
My Lady Wonder Wench has a few thoughts on this week’s podcast. The one about the “R” word.
No, my Louie Louie Lad is NEVER going to retire (isn’t that what you do when your car needs new ones?) – Even Big Louie, His Own Bad Self, won’t ever let go (although I could wish he might) – The one good thing about never retiring is that he still gets paid – and I get to spend the money! Besides that, he is ever so much happier when he can go down into his office and bang away on the computer. I say bang advisedly; I know he’s hard at work when the air rising from downstairs is blue from the under-the-breath cursing he does. Just remember, Lad, that Cousin Damian the Jesuit, may be listening . .