Dick Summer Connection

November 17th, 2017

Another whacko week. But T.G.I.F., which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s keeping you awake at night out the other ear, and you can nod off comfortably to sleep. he President and the Vice President are not allowed to travel together. I do not know if they are allowed to shower together. Do you know why your love life looks like a bathing suit ? Of course not. I’ll tell you in a minute. Colby’s restaurant in New Hampshire banned politicians during the recent primary. I suppose they like to cater to a higher quality customer. Congress creates an average of 56 new crimes each year. There’s something silly about those people calling other people criminals. Takes one to know one I guess. Oh yeah…your love life looks like a bathing suit because it all depends on what you put into it. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please be like Columbus and go explore them. 

Dick Summer Connection

November 16th, 2017

In today’s podcast you’ll hear about a guy named Bill, a girl named Rose, and some strange going on-s at a ski lodge with my Lady Wonder Wench. It’s a fantasy in which I became…borderline… Harrison Ford like. It’s a fantasy remember. There were things I had to…”fix.”

 

Dick Summer Connection

November 15th, 2017

It’s the dark age. No more Daylight Savings Time. I love the dark…the middle of the night. It’s a thick, warm, fantasy forest, where real, soft flesh and hot blood often turn fantasies into realities. Today’s podcast is an invitation to jump into your fantasies. 

 

Dick Summer Connection

November 14th, 2017

Today’s podcast is called “Midnight Fantasies.” It includes one of my favorite true to life fantasies about a ski lodge, my Lady Wonder Wench, a friend of hers by the name of Rose, and a guy named Bill. As you might expect, Bill was not my favorite guy. I think I would call him…”strange.”

Dick Summer Connection

November 13th, 2017

The Dark Age is upon us. The daylight times are gone. No more baseball, beaches and girls in their soft Summer dresses until next Spring. Today’s podcast is full of the night. Perfume traces, heroes and villains, and touch me looks flicking across rooms. Of course, sometimes the night covers sights you’d rather not remember. 

Dick Summer Connection

November 12th, 2017

Today’s podcast is about fantasies. Black lace falling quietly on a soft carpet, touch me looks flicking across rooms, warm hands in sensitive places, a lover’s key turning in a lock…fantasies. That’s what today’s podcast is about. Fantasies are the difference between wearing underpants or wearing a thong.  Of course there ARE all kinds of fantasies. 

Dick Summer Connection

November 11th, 2017

Lots of good stories are made up. Here’s one from today’s podcast. Icaught my nasty next door neighbor Steve putting Jello in the bird bath so he could watch the birds bounce their landings. Fake News. But FUN fake news. Here’s some real news, news. There is now an airline that calls itself Cheapo Air. Now I’m a pilot, and I think if I flew for Cheapo Air part of my welcome speech to passengers would have to include, Welcome to Cheapo Air, where we pass along the savings that we get from skipping things like regular maintainence, and pilot training. So please remember, while we’re in flight, please observe the no screaming signs.

Dick Summer Connection

November 10th, 2017

T.G.I.F, which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s making you crazy out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. The average American uses 54 feet of dental floss every year. I don’t think 54 feet would be the best place to use dental floss. If the answer is “Try eating it with your other hand” what is the question. Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute. 54% of Americans believe that humans lived at the same time as dinosaurs. Those people should not be left un-attended. There is an actual job called “Mother Repairer.” It doesn’t mean what you think. Back in the days of LPs and 45s, the master discs from which the vinal disc was pressed was called a “Mother.” The Mother Repairer removed dirt and metal shavings from the grooves of the “Mother Master” so the discs they pressed wouldn’t make clicking noises. So the Mother Repairer really had nothing to do with your mother…although you might want to listen to your mother closely in case she is making a clicking sound which might indicate she needs some dirt or metal shavings removed. If the answer is “Try eating it with your other hand” the question is “What should you do if your pretzel tastes really awful?” Try eating it with your other hand. That’s especially true if you usually lose ten pounds every time you clean under your fingernails. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housecleaning here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs  or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot , please tell a couple of friends will you. They might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor.

Dick Summer Connection

November 9th, 2017

So many good stories to tell in today’s podcast. Bad weather caused a power failure in New England last week. That means the wi fi went down…so no internet. I’ll bet everybody had to walk around the house and introduce themselves. That’s a half true story. Here’s a great Fake News story…an old guy from Bridgeport Connecticut claimed last week that he flew 2 years before the Wright brothers. He claimed he used 75 butterflies and a very big whip. I lied. I made that up. Fake News.

Dick Summer Connection

November 8th, 2017

We tell ourselves nutty things. That’s what today’s podcast is about. You figure out your lottery ticket number by counting the number of pushups you used to be able to do, divided by the number of people who showed up at your last New Year’s Eve party, multiplied by the square root of the number of commercials per hour on your favorite cable channel.) Those nutty things keep seeming like good ideas because of the stories we tell ourselves. By the way, if you’re planning a New Year’s party, I suggest you liven things up a little by putting some mistletoe over the hot tub. The guy in this picture should have thought about that.