Dick Summer Connection

Today’s podcast has a confession to make. I think almost every guy has an occasional problem with his Lust Lion. Sometimes the lion bites through the bars on the cage, and lunges out at someone who’s off limits…and that could create a really messy problem that has gotten guys fired from their TV network jobs. And sometimes almost every guy has the opposite problem with his Lust Lion. A limp Lust Lion can be caused by some physical problem of course, but it’s usually some kind of stress, guilt, or just being tired. But it scares hell out of us when that happens. If that happens to your guy ladies, don’t make things worse by taking it personally. This is also not usually the time for a lot of humor either… although it probably should be. The best move for a lady to make when her guy’s Lust Lion is limp is usually a contented smile, and some extra warm snuggling. Generally you can expect outstanding “Lovin'” results from that treatment in an hour or so. 

I first became aware of the Lust Lion part of Pfarf, my lower reptilian brain, one day when I was about 12 years old, and I noticed that Jeannie Campbell who lived next door, was wearing rather tight fitting jeans. And wearing them very well. It’s in today’s podcast…how all of a sudden I heard Pfarf laugh in a way that I’d never heard him laugh before …and my whole lower reptilian brain exploded. When the smoke and flames from the explosion cleared, for the first time I was face to face with my Lust Lion. Instead of joking around like Pfarf usually did, he was lurking and… growling … behind the bars of a cage… pacing back and forth, growling, and licking his lips. I think that was when I had my first testosterone tsunami.

EVERYBODY has a lower reptilian brain. Today’s podcast says your lower reptilian brain is part of your limbic system. I like to think of the guy in charge of my lower reptilian brain as kind of a friendly little wee beastie. I call him Rumplestilskin Pharfenugen.  Pharf for short. In case you slept through brain surgery class, your lower reptilian brain is responsible for some of the biggest troubles you can get into. Also the most fun. That happens when instead of being just a wee beastie, your lower reptilian brain decides to become a WHEE Beastie. When that happens, you hear guys saying things like, “Watch this”. And “Hello my dear. Your place or mine?”  When I say that to my Lady Wonder Wench, and she gives me one of those Wonder Wenchy looks, rolls her eyes out loud, and smiles. When she smiles, I begin to hear a familiar roar from Pfarf. That’s when Pfarf turns into my “Lust Lion.” As my lady will gladly tell you I know almost nothing about ladies, so I don’t know if your standard issue lady has a Lust Lioness or not. I will admit, that in my youth, I got to know several ladies who did seem to have Lust Lionesses but I’m just not sure. I guess we need spiritual guidance on this. 

Lots of people are making sex pretty complicated these days, and God bless them too. But not me. As I said in today’s podcast, I’m a simple guy. I like the simple fact that I’m one sex and my Lady Wonder Wench is the other. I’m a simple guy but I have some complicated parts. You may remember that a few podcasts ago I explained about my lower reptilian brain. Everybody has a lower reptilian brain, including you. Even if you’re a woman. That’s one of the very few things I know about women. They have a lower reptilian brain just like guys do. My lower reptilian brain is complicated. It has a part that I call my Lust Lion. As I said, I don’t know much about women, so I’m not sure if ladies have a Lust Lioness to contend with or not. Although looking back on it fondly, I think that might have been the case with a couple of the ladies I’ve known. Fondly, fondly, fondly looking back.

I am once again sitting here in my big, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room, and let me tell you it’s a lot more comfortable than the seat at gate D15 at Philadelphia airport where I was stuck a few weeks ago because of another cancelled flight. I told you a few podcasts back that the airlines are screaming for pilots because today’s young guys aren’t sexy enough to become pilots, and women won’t pick up the slack. The point is in today’s podcast. To whit: Sex is screwing up the airline schedules. And here’s why. 96% of American pilots are guys, and in the last 30 years, young guys have had a 52% drop in testosterone which as you know is a key ingredient in being a sexy guy. And although women don’t have much testosterone, they do have a lot of estrogen which seems plentiful enough, but they aren’t stepping up to fill the pilot gap. They’re not becoming pilots. And that’s a major reason the airlines keep cancelling flights. Not enough pilots. Sex is screwing up today’s airline schedules.For more on this upsetting problem, please give a listen to today’s podcast. The situation is so bad, it’s beginning to make the newspapers.

Today’s podcast is about these days and nights when it seems like we’re in some kind of outrageously high fear gear. And fear and rage does some nasty stuff to us. Like in Charlotte. Pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t going to make it go away. And it’s really grinding down on lots of us. One way to deal with fear and rage, is to build a word fence around it so it can’t spread to other people. There are lots of things happening that can get you outraged. But suppose before you pick up a rock, you take just a moment to wind your watch. Change the word outrage to the word in-rage in your head. Bingo…as they say in church. As soon as you do that you start taking control of what you do next.  “In-rage” is a simple and to the point first step kind of “break the momentum” reminder. “In-rage”acknowledges the anger, but it also reminds us to keep that anger inside…stop it from spreading and gathering momentum. Breaking that rage momentum is a first step in the direction of “Un-rage.” “Un-rage””Un-rage” is a safe landing after there has been a lot of brown stuff blown around the cockpit. Un-rage is when we calm down enough to make a safe landing. Un-rage is when we try to genuinely understand why the other guy feels the way he does. There is usually a reason.

T.G.I.F which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s making you nuts out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. P.T. Barnum staged the first beauty contest. Now there’s a bright guy for you. He goes hanging around the mall with a clip board asking, “Hello my dear. You are gorgeous. How would you like to come up to my place and audition for my… beauty contest? It’s my contest, and as I said, you’re gorgeous.” Filthy, filthy old man. Why didn’t I think of that? If the answer is “Take yours off with him” what is the question? Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute. Sigmund Freud smoked 40 cigars a day. 40 cigars a day. They could have called him Sigmund Fried. This fall there will be a Testicle Festival in the great state of Montana. I’m not making this up. Can you imagine what the floats will look like in the testicle festival? The average American kid uses 730 crayons by the time he’s 10. 730 crayons and 7 or 8 walls. If the answer is “Take yours off with him” the question is,”How can you win a bet with somebody that he can’t even take his shirt off by himself.” Take yours off with him. I just realized that probably wouldn’t be a good idea for the ladies listening. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.  A little housekeeping here…if you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs,  or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, please tell a couple of friends because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much.

Serious podcast today. Because these days and nights it seems like we’re in some kind of outrageously high fear gear. And fear and rage does some nasty stuff to us. Like in Charlotte. Pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t going to make it go away. And it’s really grinding down on lots of us. One way to deal with fear and rage, is to build a word fence around it so it can’t spread to other people. There are lots of things happening that can get you outraged. But suppose before you pick up a rock to throw at the other guys, you take just a moment to wind your watch. Change the word outrage to the word in-rage in your head. Bingo…as they say in church. As soon as you do that you start taking control of what you do next.  “In-rage” is a simple and to the point first step kind of “break the momentum” reminder. “In-rage”acknowledges the anger, but it also reminds us to keep that anger inside…stop it from spreading and gathering momentum. Breaking that rage momentum is a first step in the direction of “Un-rage.” “Un-rage””Un-rage” is a safe landing after there has been a lot of brown stuff blown around the cockpit. Un-rage is when we calm down enough to make a safe landing.

I think the main problem we’re having in this country now is fear. According to today’s podcast, that’s what caused the mess at Charlotte. Fear of the unknown. Unknown people and unknown ideas. It’s easy to hate somebody you don’t know. And it’s easy to hate an idea you don’t fully understand. That’s where today’s podcast says the term “In-rage” comes in. It’s simple, to the point, and it’s a quick reminder that the next time you see something that scares you…before you reach for a rock to throw at “those guys”, it would be a good idea to wind your watch. Please remember today’s podcast  the next time you get completely outraged at someone or something. It could happen. Doesn’t hurt to look ahead.

“Wind your watch” Mike said…between clenched teeth. Mike was my first flight instructor all those decades ago. His teeth were clenched because I had the plane stalled. It was pointed straight down and it was starting to spin, and I was reaching like a mad man for buttons and switches and pulling on levers…instead of THINKING.  Today’s podcast is about how Mike was teaching me a pilot saying that goes: “When you notice that one wing just fell off, the first thing to do is to wind your watch.” It’s a reminder that it’s not a good idea to just throw a bunch of switches and pull a lot of levers until you take a breath, and actually understand what needs to be done…THEN DO IT. Remembering to wind your watch is one way to break the momentum of fear, and it gives you a chance to get things back under reasoned control. It was a hard lesson well learned. Thanks Mike. Mike probably had to wind his watch at least ten times to keep from just grabbing the controls that day.