Believe it or not, this dog’s name is Richard. I have no idea what his nick name might be. Nor do I know what his doggie friends call him. For other astonishing perspectives on life, including the No Drool Rule, please join me for today’s podcast.
Today’s podcast is about the learning experience I had in the cockpit of my little plane, bouncing around in that turbulence the other day. I did actually hit my head on the roof of the cockpit. I would personally classify the turbulence as “really, really scary.” The FAA classified it as “moderate.” That’s because I was in the plane hitting my head on the ceiling, feeling hungry and needing to pee and the FAA was in its office building in Oklahoma City filling out paperwork. Difference in perspective. I really did ask myself why I was up there flying around in that weather, scaring myself. When all of a sudden it hit me that being scared is a very intense feeling…which means when you’re scared you are very intensely alive…and besides you can make up lots of lies to tell your friends about the experience later. Our lives are the most precious thing we have, and I was holding my life in my hands…literally…with my hands on the controls. Excitement. Man juice. It’s one of the things I love about flying. Once you’re up there…by yourself…it doesn’t matter how many thousands of feet…and it doesn’t matter how fast you’re going. There’s only one way to get back down again so you can get something to eat and take a pee, and that’s by doing it yourself. Nobody can do it for you. Air Traffic Control can sometimes help, but you’re the guy. There’s no breaking the law of gravity. The No Drool Rule is always…strictly enforced. A learning experience. Like these new angels are having.
Louie Louie Generation guys and girls (yes I said girls…as in “girls night out”) have been around for a while. We’ve learned things like, “Variety may be the spice of life, but it’s often monotony that buys the groceries.” And if life gives you lemons, it’s lots of fun to squeeze the juice into a water gun and squirt the people responsible in the eye.” And “No matter how bad your belly aches, never go to a surgeon with more than three bandages on his fingers…and never go to a plastic surgeon whose favorite artist is Picasso.” Avoid making mistakes like that. Join me for today’s podcast.
One thing that any married pilot will tell you is that when an airplane or a woman gets quiet…watch out. I don’t know much about women. But I think every guy every once in a while needs to experience a few minutes of the kind of sweat that happened to me a little while ago…flying my little plane in “Hit your head on the roof of the cockpit” turbulence. I think doing some things that scare us a little every once in a while keeps the man juices flowing. The guy in this picture is a good example. There’s a story about a guy who better keep that in mind before he makes a very bad mistake in today’s podcast.
Today’s podcast gives you a slogan to live by: “Drool is not cool.” I’ve looked in the mirror. I’ve noticed that some of my contents are beginning to look like they’ve settled during shipping. There has been a lot of shipping going on in my life for a long time. Lots of my friends are in similar condition. That’s the reason for the Louie Louie Generation. We don’t have rock hard abs and perky breasts like the people in the TV beer commercials anymore. But we have no plans to turn into a lumps of luke warm meat, either. We have a self monitored but absolutely strict “No Drool Rule.” It’s in my book “Staying Happy Healthy And Hot.
Sometimes things get uncomfortable when you’re flying a plane. When that happens, you ask yourself “Self…why am I doing this?” And there are more answers to the “Self why are we doing this” question than getting safely on the ground, finding some food and going to pee. That’s where the “No Drool Rule” comes in. You cannot fly a plane and drool at the same time. Drooling is best done in a rocking chair on the porch. And lots of folks my age do just that. My neighbor Steve now seems to get the same kind of kick out of rocking and drooling as he used to get on a roller coaster. As I have explained in my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, I call people like Steve the “Dreary Drones.” The “dreary drones” slouch through life, drenched in TV, slogging through soggy relationships and settling for dimmed-down dreams. And lots of them sit in their rocking chairs and drool. Some of them can’t even start their chairs rocking. They could probably be declared landmarks. I don’t want any part of that. Drool is not cool.
Thanks for dropping in here on my blog, I’m very glad to have your company. I’m all comfortable now, sitting here in my big, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room. Everything in the room is sitting still just like it’s supposed to. An hour or so ago, I was sitting in the left front seat of my little airplane flying in “hit your head on the roof of the cockpit” turbulence, making a left turn to final approach, and it wasn’t comfortable at all. In fact it was a little sweaty…to the point that I started asking myself, “Self…why are we doing this?” To which my-self answered, “Because you can’t stay up here all day you’ll run out of gas, you’re getting hungry, and most important, you’ve got to pee and the only way you’re going to do that is by landing this plane. Also, remember your own ‘No Drool Rule.’ So just do it.” Made sense to me so I did. That’s why I’m sitting here now. If I handn’t…I wouldn’t be. And furthermore, I’ll do it again. Sometimes reminds me of the kid in this picture. I’ll tell you all about it in today’s podcast.
Today is air-show day at my airport. Some people are scared of flying. Today’s podcast might help if that’s a problem with you. Oh…and I thought if you like propellers (of a sort) you might enjoy this attachment.
Dick’s Details is a regular feature on the podcasts. It’s a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s rubbing your wrinkles the wrong way out the other ear, and you can grab a grin.There was a story in the paper today about a rock group that’s upset with an airline. The headline reads: “Smashing Pumpkin sues Virgin.” Makes it seem like a modern Cinderella story. If the answer is “He would put it in our pockets” what is the question. The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that kids 2 to 5 put their hands in their mouths an average of 10 times an hour. That’s nothing. Our average politician puts his foot in his mouth a lot more often than that. Mormon leader Brigham Young had 56 kids by 27 wives. No wonder Mormons call him the founding father. I can’t help wonder if he got his name from telling whoever supplied his wives, “I don’t care how you bring em. Just bring em young. If the answer is “He would put it in our pockets” the question is “What would the average politician do if we gave him a completely free hand.” There’s a bit in there about doing a poll dance too, but I’ll skip it in deference to your delicate sensibilities. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
I have been a very happy guy for a very long time. But here’s the thing that’s driving me nuts: I was watching my lovely Lady Wonder Wench waking up on her pillow this morning…beautiful eyes slowly opening and turning the whole room blue…a slow smile that says, “Hi, I love you” without the words, and then some very clear words that say, “Get out of my way. I’ve got to pee. That happens almost every morning. But this morning, something hit me so hard it must have given me a concussion. It’s in today’s podcast.